By Greg Cieply
This was the day. The important signing day. Molly had spent 20 months on this deal from prospecting the company, researching their needs, finding the decision-makers, selling them on her solution, and then getting all the contracts in place. After enduring seemingly endless conference calls, in-person meetings, and never-ending negotiations, today she would get that final signature.
Since it was such a large deal, the client’s CEO wanted to meet with her in-person to sign and go over a few specifics. Little did she know what he had in store for her.
For any purchase over $1 million, he wanted to see the heart of the salesperson, their commitment to the company’s product, and if they believed in what they were selling. It was often worse than an interview since the questions weren’t always product related.
A friendly company VP, a champion for the deal, warned Molly about the signing meeting but didn’t fill her in completely. He walked her into the office of the CEO and quickly excused himself to take a call. Molly found herself sitting in front of the head of a multibillion-dollar company without any moral support.
She assumed the CEO’s questions would be product-related after the usual get-to-know-you discussion, but the conversation never took that path.
Holding his hands in his lap like a high school principal drilling a student to confess, the CEO asked, “You look like you’re doing well financially and this is going to be a significant deal for you, but knowing what we know about your company, why do you continue to work there and why should we buy this from you?”
Molly wasn’t expecting this at all. Everyone and everything had pointed to a clear finish line, but this could kill it.
Years ago, Molly had been embarrassed with questions on the fly and decided to learn how to overcome the unexpected.
Molly paused, took a deep breath, and repeated the question. She leaned back in her chair and folded her hands to mirror his position, and shared a quote that she memorized for occasions just like this.
In a soft tone with an even cadence, she recited the words of Martin Luther King Jr., “Cowardice asks the question, is it safe? Expediency asks the question, is it politic? Vanity comes along and asks the question, is it popular? But conscience comes along and asks the question, is it right?”
Her conscience was clear. She knew without a doubt that the solution she presented was the best for this company—what they needed right now and likely for a long time.
After hearing Molly, the CEO’s mouth almost opened agape, but he hid his enthusiasm until he had the answer. He knew she was really good. The question was whether or not she was a good actor or sincerely meant it.
Molly explained the incredible effort in getting this solution to work. Moreover, she spent just as much time trying to discern how to use the company’s product to benefit others—how it could change lives and benefit thousands of people.
Molly delivered her message clearly and concisely with an underlying enthusiasm that was genuine and authentic. Her expressions were sincere. There was no sign of commission-based greed nor anxiousness from her visage or body language. Based on the CEO’s silence, she sensed that the Martin Luther King Jr. quote had sealed the deal.
Their eyes broke as he looked at the phone on his desk that buzzed for a brief second. Molly knew he could take the easy way out.
“Thank you for meeting with me Molly,” he said. “In case no one told you, I do this with all large purchases, and I’m never wrong discerning someone’s character.”
“I’m glad to hear that, and I am certain everything I stated will come to fruition. You will not be disappointed,” Molly said confidently.
The CEO opened a manila folder, signed his name in six places, and handed the executed contract to Molly. As if on cue, Molly’s VP friend returned to escort her out.
As they walked down the hall, the song Eye of the Tiger played in Molly’s head. It was more than just a contract and another large deal. Molly had once again added to her personal bucket of meaning and purpose that she always tried to fill.
“Thanks for that little surprise,” she said half humorously to her friendly VP.
“From the looks of it, everything went well. I hope you’re not too upset with me for stepping out.”
“Not at all,” she said. “There’s a quote that says, ‘Life is 10% how you make it, but 90% how you take it.’ I agree, but I’d add that the 10% sets the stage. Without it, there’s nothing to take. Your approach was just what I needed. Thanks for your help.”
Do you know what you don’t know?
This fictional story of Molly’s impromptu situation has happened countless times to many people. Think of all the improbable situations you have found yourself in. Maybe a first date, job interview, negotiation, or argument you were having. In each case, you wanted to look good, be polished, and win the day!
Whatever your desired outcome, when you reflect on a past event you know there was one word or sentence that made the difference. Or, maybe you second-guessed yourself. Maybe you thought about if you could’ve made them laugh, cry, respect you, or trust you.
Knowing what to say on the fly can make all the difference in the world. Being prepared when an impromptu conversation arises is unbelievably important. But not everyone is equipped.
However, we all face the same dilemma with the same three choices: do we run, fight, or freeze?
Think about the last time you were put on the spot. Did you make the right choice or did you take your normal go-to move?
I tend to fight, with a smattering of freezes—probably not a good choice, as our bodies produce adrenaline when threatened. Our heart rate picks up, we sweat, and generally get anxious. The anxiety can cause us to lose our thoughts momentarily and we can make wrong decisions. Fighting also adds to more anxiety later. At least running gives us an opportunity to calm down and put things on hold.
However, most human beings are not able to function properly when such an event happens. They freeze. This can happen even if you’ve trained over and over. If you have stage fright you know exactly what I mean.
Barbra Streisand once forgot the lyrics to a song while performing in New York—refusing to perform live again for nearly three decades. Even today, she only performs live when her every word is provided by a teleprompter including her banter between songs.
You can probably recall a time in school when you weren’t paying attention and your teacher called on you to answer a question in front of the entire class—putting you in a live compromised position. How did you feel? It’s possibly hard to describe how your adrenaline spiked to empower you at the moment.
Pausing is a Best Practice
Instead of running, fighting, or freezing in place, one of the best practices to improve those awkward moments is to simply pause. Take a breath, swallow, and acknowledge the fact that something has altered your physical state. Accept that this happens to everyone and not just you.
People often beat themselves up over these circumstances, creating a negative feedback loop. Over time, this practice creates a sense of never being able to perform when called on.
Now think about the opposite situation that you faced. Imagine while studying, you came across a particular fact or verse from the homework that just stuck with you for no reason. When the teacher asked the class a question about that particular fact and no one raised their hand, you knew that you needed to respond. Without fear, you put your hand up and answered.
That is what happens when you’re prepared!
Even then, you most likely had to pause. Because if you’re an introvert, just raising your hand in front of a group might cause an adrenaline rush. But since you knew the answer, you had the courage and fortitude to share the answer.
Taking a pause is the first technique in the impromptu tool kit. It’s a sign of contemplation and is often seen by others as intelligence. After all, most smart people deliberately pause before they speak to formulate their thoughts in a positive and beneficial manner for those listening. Like Molly, we can arm ourselves with a pause at the right moment to draw from our past experiences and prepared information.
© 2021 by Greg Cieply